Meh. Three quick fics

[cold_nostalgia]

Major discaimer:  These quickies were written by a person in the throes of sleep deprivation.  You have been warned!

Title: The Zatanna Method Pt 1
Author: Cold Nostalgia
Disclaimer: Dont own them. Don't sue.
Challenge/Claim: Harley, Ivy
Characters: Harley Quinzel, Pamela Isley, Batman, Catwoman, Holly Robinson
Prompt: #58. Memory.
Universe: DCU, A/U post Countdown.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 810
Summary: A lot had happened in the four months Harley Quinzel had been absent from Gotham.
Slash/Warnings: None at the moment.

 

1. Prologue




A lot had happened in the four months that Harley Quinzel had been absent from Gotham.

It had turned out that all those rumours she’d been hearing before she’d left about the government rounding up all the costumes and dumping them on another planet had been just that – rumours. No doubt dreamt up by some dumb henchman who had way too much time on his hands.

Nah. The government had never any plans to do anything like that. But apparently they had been committed to ridding the world of costumed criminals for good, that part of it hadn’t been any rumour. So instead of bankrupting the entire country by rounding them all up and dumping them on a prison colony a few hundred light years from Earth, they’d decided to make like Zatanna and wipe their memories.

Harley thought it sounded every bit as stupid as the prison colony rumours.

But apparently the government’s Fresh Start Program had been a success…well, kind of a success at any rate. There’d been a few people that had been immune to the effects of the machine used in the procedure and Harley didn’t think she needed three guesses to work out a couple of the names included on that list. She also didn’t think those individuals were going to let something like that go and forget about it. There sure would be trouble somewhere down the road, super duper, brand spanking new prison be damned. It was, as far as Harley was concerned, simply a matter of time before they broke out and raised all kinds of hell.

Not that the powers that be, local and national, could even begin to work that one out. Nah, they were way too stupid and way too incompetent to figure out something so incredibly simple – and Harley would know, she'd once worked for the local authorities, none of them knew their ass from their elbow.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it, not by a long shot…

The idiots had managed to round up everybody, they’d managed to re-boot the brains of ninety-seven percent of the ones they’d captured, oh, and they'd managed to depower the metas -- and then they’d run out of money! They couldn’t afford to re-locate and give new identities to the poor clueless bastards that they’d just mind-wiped, therefore leaving the poor clueless bastards sitting ducks for anyone with half a mind for vengeance. The only thing that was missing was music from the Benny Hill Show.  

And that’s where Harley came into it, or rather, had been dragged into it, kicking and screaming.

If Holly had still been living with her, then she wouldn’t have been in this mess. Harley blamed Catwoman for that one, because if the flea-bitten moggy hadn’t told Holly all those scandalous, libellous, outright malicious lies about her, then Holly would still be living with her. If there was a Hell, then Harley sincerely hoped that Catwoman would spend the rest of eternity being chased by giant mice in it. Because if Holly had still been living with her, then that swine of a Bat wouldn’t have been able to do what he did.

The pair of them were probably all tucked up in bed somewhere; sipping champagne, laughing and congratulating themselves in assisting Lady Fate in once more tapping Harleen Francis Quinzel on the shoulder, punching her in the face, kneeing her in the stomach, and then running off with her lunch money.

From Catwoman it was expected; but Batman, dammit! He knew better. He knew that she was done with the costumed-way-of-life. He knew just how hard she had worked to get away from it, how hard she’d worked to find just a little bit of happiness for herself…. so why had he done it?

Because he was a sadistic bastard, that was why. He liked to see her suffer and squirm. He loved making her life a misery. And what better way to accomplish that than to drop her into an embarrassing, excruciating, and possibly very lethal situation by placing a thirty-eight year old woman with the mind of a twenty year old biology student, who went by the name of Pamela Isley into her care.

‘You’re the closest thing she has to family,’ he had said to her before turning and disappearing out the window into the night, seconds after Princess Prissypants had all but sprinted into Holly's old room. Leaving a horrified and speechless Harley in his wake.

And for the tenth time that evening, Harley glared at the very same window the Bat had disappeared through not hours before, cursing the day she’d let Holly talk her into returning Gotham.

There was no way in her mind that this could end well.

 





Title: Disneyesque
Author: Cold Nostalgia
Challenge/Claim: Harley/Ivy
Characters: Harley, Ivy, Joker
Timeline: General DCU, Batman: Black and White: Case Study, if you squint
Word count: 1,340
Prompt: 23# Cursed
Rating: PG
Summary: A fairy tale from the mind of a seven year old.
Warning : None.


When she was younger she used to believe in fairy tales….

When she was a little girl, and had so little understanding of the world beyond the bright garden where she spent much of her childhood, it seemed unthinkable to her under the gentle warmth of the sun and as busy bees buzzed by and around her head, that such magic could not exist in the world.

And as a result of this, she spent many happy days in her magical kingdom, talking to the fairies that lived within the flowers; she told them of her hopes, her dreams for the future. And they listened. They listened in a way that no one ever had and no one ever would again.

She told them of a powerful wizard. An evil wizard who would soon arrive in the kingdom, bringing with him untold darkness, despair, and death upon the land for many years to come. All would fear him and tremble at the mere mention of his name. None would challenge his reign of terror - not the king or the bravest of his knights.

Years would pass, and the wizard’s supremacy would remain uncontested. Until one day, a fearless young knight from a far away land with thick dark hair, dark eyes, and a voice as deep as the oceans, would arrive in the kingdom. With solemn eyes he would gaze upon the widows, the orphans, the devastated crops of the land and he would know instantly what must be done.

With steely determination he would ride out beyond the Forbidden Forrest towards the Castle of Doom where the evil wizard lived, intent on ending the dark lord’s reign forever. They would battle ferociously, skilfully…but the wizard had age on his side, he was too wily, too wise, and much too powerful for the young knight to overcome, and he, like so many others before him would fall before the wizard’s feet.

But the wizard, furious that someone had dared to oppose him, would not kill the knight, for there were some fates far worse than death, and so, the wizard in all of his anger and all of his rage, would place a terrible curse upon the knight: transforming him into a monstrous creature of the swamp; whose only purpose in life was serve at his wicked master’s feet and carry out his malevolent will. A terrifying warning to all those would dare to try and oppose him again.

And time would pass…

And one day, she, a woman now, would stumble across the creature during one her walks near the Forbidden Forrest. While startled at the creature’s appearance she would not run away in fear, or laugh, or mock, or jeer, like so many others before her that had claimed to have seen the servant. Because after one look into the creature’s eyes, she, and she alone, would instantly know that without the wizard’s direction, he was harmless and plagued by loneliness - just like her.

And every day after their first meeting, she would find herself returning to the same spot and more often than not,  would find him there, and they would talk of many things like: philosophy, music, and art.  As time passed  he would slowly reveal to her his gentle and kind nature that had remained intact despite the curse, and despite all the acts of horrific cruelty he had witnessed and been part of. And he would listen to her. He would listen to her as she spoke of her fears, her hopes, and her dreams for the future as attentively as the fairies that lived in the flowers did, and he would understand her completely. Just as she understood him.

But it wouldn’t be enough.
 
Their great friendship and the blossoming love they shared wouldn’t be enough to ensure that they would always remain together. Her poor knight would not return to her village with her no matter how many number of times she begged him to.

The curse placed on him so long ago was too strong and too powerful for him to overcome on his own and invisible chains to his malicious master’s side would forever bind him. With no little sorrow, she would have no choice but to accept this state of affairs, after all, seeing her love for a few hours a day was better than not seeing him at all. And so their routine would continue.

But then, one day the evil wizard would go too far and for no other reason other than for the sake of his own amusement would destroy a whole a village. Hundreds of people would die horribly, painfully in the attack. The scorched earth would never produce another rose or blade of grass or crop ever again. And the king who was responsible for the well-being of the kingdom’s citizens would do nothing to avenge their deaths, nor would his so-called brave knights, who had sworn an oath to protect them.

And she, she who was so very tired of living in fear, and tired of the endless, wanton destruction all around her, and most importantly, tired of living without her love, would grab her late father’s crossbow and march toward the evil wizard’s castle. She would overcome obstacles within the Forbidden Forrest and using her wits and her intelligence would defeat the many guards and traps within the castle.

Only after many hours of determined searching would she reach the wizard’s throne room and it would be only then, and only then that she would falter. The sight of her love standing next to the cackling demon’s throne; his usual placid features twisted into a wild demonic glee would make her forget to breathe, and the wizard’s eyes would glow red and he would rise from his throne, chuckling merrily, casually disarming her with a wave of his hand. He would laugh at her foolishness; her weakness; mocking her pathetic attempt to end his rule.

And as he slowly approached her, one hand raised to send her into oblivion; her brave knight, because he loved her so very, very much, with all of the effort needed to move a mountain and with every ounce of strength he had; would rage against the curse that had left him a prisoner in his own body, his own mind for so many years, and then with an animalistic cry, would leap at the wizard and began pounding his mutilated fists against at the wizard’s skeletal frame.

And she, with a heart full of hope would reclaim her wits, and grabbing a sword, which decorated the throne room walls, would then run to her true love’s side and drive the weapon into the stomach of the dark wizard who had caused so much pain to so many people.

And moments after the mad man’s death, her white knight would be engulfed in a pure, brilliant light and restored to the man he once was. It was then that he would turn to her smiling a beautiful smile, telling her that he loved her and that wanted to marry her.
 
And she would say yes…

And then they would live happily ever after….

Of course, Poison Ivy was no longer seven years old, she no longer believed in fairy tales.

The sheer passage of time had done that, and a monster wearing a mask of an kindly old professor had cured her of any remaining silly notions she may have clung to over the age of twelve.

Ivy closed her tired eyes, slowly reached up from under the covers, and once more ran her fingers along the small cut on her temple caused by a bullet from Joker’s gun. All the while, trying to ignore the rapidly cooling, empty space beside her and banish the image of the Botanical Gardens in flames from her mind.

There were no happy endings.  No radiant white knights and love couldn’t break an evil spell…but there were moments of happiness and curses might not break, but they could be nudged... if only for a short time.

And for Poison Ivy it would just have to do.



 


Title: S.A.D
Author: Cold Nostalgia
Disclaimer: Don’t own them. Don’t sue.
Claim/Challenge: Harley, Ivy
Characters/Parings: Harley/Ivy
Rating: PG
Word count: 365
Prompt: #29. Winter
Summary: Not everyone feels the Christmas cheer in Gotham.
Warnings: None.



Ivy hated winter. She especially hated wintertime in Gotham.

What little greenery that somehow managed to survive in the city’s nauseating, sordid confines became a bittersweet memory; trees that once stood proud and strong, distorted into silent wraiths before her very eyes; plants that once sang such songs of beauty for her ears and her ears only, slowly withered and died, their music fading as each day passed.

It was as if she were blind and deaf at once; leaving her disconnected and utterly alone in the world – forever on the cusp of panic; the anxiety firmly rooted and coiled in her stomach barely kept at bay by a few insulated greenhouses dotted around the cesspool in which she’d foolishly chosen to settle.

But that wasn’t the worst. No. It was the metamorphosis of the city’s inhabitants that made the season unbearable for Ivy. More locust than ape, they consumed, and they consumed, leaving nothing in their wake; a few million trees there; a few thousand plants murdered and put on display here; countless natural resources that had taken hundreds and thousands of years to form, casually ripped from the earth and mutilated into some worthless bobble that would end up on tomorrow’s landfill.

Under the constant grey skies and long frozen nights, Ivy began to falter. Her life’s mission no longer seemed feasible; her methods laughable: A lone being standing in the middle of a plague of locusts with a can of bug spray in her hand. It would have been tragic hadn’t it been so laughable.

And because of this recurrent seasonal epiphany, the fire in Ivy’s lonely head and the ice in her bones made her question the choices she had made, the choices she didn’t make; a never ending circle that left her listless, exhausted, and without hope.

Of course, it was also around this time of year that Harley turned up on her doorstep more frequently; bloodied and bruised, and on occasion, to Ivy’s dulled surprise, just fine. A small, smiling ray of light in world full of shadows.

Because if nothing else, Harley was a wonderful hot water bottle to cling to in the dead of night.

Comments

[sharkbites.livejournal.com]

Awww, those were very sweet I loved the first and third ones and I would love to have seen the second one actually drawn out! :)

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked them. Thanks.

[roguecatwoman.livejournal.com]

oooh, that's an interesting premise in the Zatanna Method! Poor Harley though...

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and it's just going to get worse for Harley, so stay tuned.

[blackrosebard.livejournal.com]

Oh I do love your touch with them!!!!

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[stinglikeabee.livejournal.com]

The idiots had managed to round up everybody, they’d managed to re-boot the brains of ninety-seven percent of the ones they’d captured, and then they’d run out of money!

I lol'd. Because it could happen D:

Because if nothing else, Harley was a wonderful hot water bottle to cling to in the dead of night.

On the surface it sounds like a banal comparison, but it touched me. I like how their relationship of more take than give is described here. Fantastic work!

[cold-nostalgia.livejournal.com]

Ah, give them their due. If it had been a real life government or civil authority, they'd probably end up rounding up a whole bunch of innocent civilans and screwing up the procedure completely. :)

Thanks, that's what I was going for. In comparison to Harley/Joker, Harley/Ivy seems pretty healthy, but on its own it's really flawed. Thanks for the feedback!