cold_nostalgia | DCU Free For All: A Dark Place - Harley/Ivy - Humor

Title: A Dark Place
Disclaimer: Don’t own them
Author: Cold Nostalgia
Rating: PG, Humour
Claim: Harley, Ivy
Prompt: 2. Shopping Mall
Word count: 408
Summary: Malls can be scary places sometimes.
Slash: Yes.

“You don’t hafta come, Red.”

Ivy twiddled with her seatbelt for what seemed to be the hundredth time and cast yet another nervous gaze around the half-empty parking lot.

“S’okay,” Harley soothed gently, taking great care not to slip into her ‘doctor voice’. “I mean, I know how much you hate these places and there ain’t no point in being somewhere you hate. So why don’t you head on back home and I’ll see ya there.”

Ivy attempted a smile, but to Harley it looked more like a grimace.

“I mean it, Pammy.” Harley coaxed. “Just pop on back home. The kids’ll probably be wonderin’ where their water is.”

“Don’t be silly, Harley.” Ivy replied quietly, giving Harley’s hand a quick squeeze, her eyes never leaving the object of her ire. “You need a new coat for winter – and you actually do need one,” an anxious chuckle escaped from her lips. “So here we are.”

Harley bit her lip. For all the time they’d spending sitting in the godforsaken lot, they could have bought fifty winter coats and been home by now.

“Red,” she tried again. “I buy stuff for myself all the time. Why not take the car back home and I’ll get the bus back or somethin'.”

Another nervous chuckle spewed forth from Ivy’s lips. “No.”

Harley turned and looked at her lover. “Why not, Red?”

“Because I don’t trust you,” Ivy replied in a tone that was too high. “Because you’ll come back with a trampoline.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes you will!” Ivy snarled hotly. “Dammit, Harley! Why are always raping the planet? Why are you always raping the planet and buying junk that you don’t need, or even know that you wanted until you saw the commercial?”

“Character flaw, I guess.” Harley replied quietly.

“This is so silly,” Ivy said shakily, moving her hand toward the door handle then withdrawing it as if it had been burned. “For the love of Gaia, it’s a shopping mall! Millions of people go to them everyday.”

“Yeah.”

“Last month you spent a week in the rainforests of Borneo with me and only started crying on the last day.”

“That’s right.”

Ivy took one long look at the building that symbolised everything that was evil about human nature and forced down a wave of hysteria bubbling at the back of her throat. “This is so silly.”

Harley sighed, looked at her watch again and hoped to god that Dr. Crane would never find out about this.